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18 January 2009 @ 01:17 pm
KHR Fanfic: Nightingale [[8018]]  
This is an entry pertaining to KHR. Sorry to all those on my flist who don't know it. :X

Anyway, so, I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I started crushing hard on Yamamoto lol. I mean, I've always liked him, but now my obsession for him just jumped like, a million times more. XD;;

I like him so much that I've been converted to 8059. I mean, I keep telling myself in the past that "No, I am NOT going to fall for the most canon pairing in KHR." but lol it looks like I did. I'm sad that Nalis, my fave. 8059 circle, took down her KHR site & start on some other series now. ;____;

And don't get me started on 8018. I ♥ it SO MUCH now. Lol I even changed my profile pic because of it. Check out this beautiful pic *___* ...Except I wanted to add some snazzy effects to it & ended up ultimately ruining it. >>;;

Anyway, I love 8018 so much that, here, have a fic. :D

Title: Nightingale
Author: decolorize
Pairing: Yamamoto/Hibari
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5941 *dies*
Summary: Yamamoto knows that Hibari is like a bird.
Notes: This is my take on how 8018 will work in canon, because, honestly, I cannot see them any other way than this when you put all of that fanon thing aside.

A BIIIIIIIIIIG thank you to hiroya_chan for beta-ing this failed!fic of mine. ILU, BB. ♥ I kind of want to write an 8018 meta now, but all their interactions amount to like, 4 panels total in the manga. ;____;



Yamamoto isn’t sure when this all began; he can’t really blame all this on one occasion, either. Rather, he supposes, this all happened through a gradual process of time, bit by bit, pieces by pieces, that by the time he realizes it, it is already too late. But Yamamoto wants it that way, anyway. He doesn’t want to be the type of person who can just blindly falls in love with something, or someone, right at the second he sees it – he thinks it’s too quick a time to fully realize the extent to how much you love it, or how important it is to you. So the way it happened, he has no regrets.

As his sword slashes again and again, crimson spilling everywhere, he looks to the person a few meters away from him, and knows.

Yamamoto didn't make a mistake back then, and he isn't going to start making them now.

:+:+:+:+:


The sun is scorching outside on a mid-July day. Out on a grassy field, one can hear the thwok thwok sound of balls colliding into baseball gloves and bats. Yamamoto slides into position and prepares to throw his first pitch of the day. It’s too hot to even wear the Baseball Club’s uniform, but he doesn’t mind because he’s playing baseball – something that he loves – and throws the ball again when the next batter comes preparing to take a stand.

As Yamamoto waits for the ball to come back after a great hit of homerun, he vaguely notices something out of the corner of his eyes.

A figure passing by, a black jacket hanging loosely on the shoulder with the distinct strip of “Disciplinary Committee” printed clearly on the arm.

Hibari Kyoya.

Yamamoto smiles and absentmindedly wonders what Hibari is doing here, after school, when most students are home already, but is quickly snapped out of his thoughts when someone yells his name, and he catches the ball just in time.

When he looks back, Hibari is gone.

:+:+:+:+:


As Yamamoto is taking a drink of water on break, he sees Hibari again –this makes it the twelfth time now, he knows because that’s how many days it had been since baseball practices had started- and wonders distantly if he takes the same route everyday after school.

To be honest, Yamamoto doesn’t really know Hibari, hasn’t really talked to him much aside from the one to two sentences they’ve spoken to each other during those “fun happenings” that he’d always go to with Tsuna and Gokudera.

But the guy is an interesting guy, and he did save Yamamoto in that Ring Battle thing –boy, that was a close one- besides, he’s part of Tsuna’s family, isn’t he?

Anyone who is Tsuna’s friend is Yamamoto’s friend, too, after all.

With that thought in mind, he eyes light up when he thinks of something that will be pretty cool to do tomorrow.

:+:+:+:+:


"Hey, Hibari!"

Hibari lifts his head up and slows down his, if still continuing, pace. A few more shouts of his name, and he can hear footsteps gradually getting louder, and closer, to where he is.

"Yo, Hibari! Are you patrolling again?"

"Yamamoto Takeshi." He acknowledges, glancing briefly at the boy beside him, who walks in a fast pace to keep up, and Hibari is promptly greeted with that annoying smile that’s always on the boy’s face.

“I just finished my practice, and was packing up when I saw you walking by.” Yamamoto leaves out the part that he always sees Hibari passing by here, everyday after school - he’s became too familiar with the pattern already. “How long do you usually go on patrols? You don’t have to do it personally, do you? I mean, you have all those other guys that can easily to that for you.”

Hibari narrows his eyes, wondering what is up with this guy, asking him about this kind of stuff. “That has nothing to do with you. Go away.”

The taller boy only laughs cheerily, so used to this way of talking, and says, “Oh come on. Must be pretty boring walking around the school all alone like that, isn’t it? I know you’re not much for company, but surely it wouldn’t hurt just to converse with one person?”

Hibari only grunts in response. They match stride by stride, and after a long while of absolute silence between the two, Hibari mutters, “It’s not bad. Tetsu and the others are patrolling right now, on the lookout for anyone foolish enough to start any trouble.” A pause. “I’m really just walking around.”

Yamamoto only smiles. So the Disciplinary Committee Head walks around the school everyday simply because he wants to. He knew the guy has a strange fondness for the school, but still. “Hmn… Well, are you almost done?”

The other boy, for the first time, halts his steps and regards Yamamoto with a confused look on his face. “Again, that has nothing to do with you.”

“Hey, hey. I’m just asking. Come on, just answer me, will you?”

Eyes narrowing even more, Hibari tilts his head and replies hesitantly. “Almost.”

“Well, once you’re done, want to go and grab something to eat? My father owns a restaurant. I won’t say that our food is the best in this world, but I promise that you’ll like it!"

Hibari only regards him for another moment before starting to walk again. “No.”

Yamamoto, predicting that answer, refuses to give up. “Oh, come on. Our sushi doesn’t taste bad.”

Hibari seems to spare him a glance before appearing to be deep in thought. Yamamoto only smiles back.

“…Sushi?”

“Yeah, sushi. My dad’s pretty good at making them, you know.” Yamamoto’s eyes light up again, and it all seems so bright –too bright- to Hibari, as he looks at the other’s smile, and scowls inwardly. He’s not used to this, people being so happy at his mere presence, people who actually beam a genuine smile at him. Hibari doesn’t like this –this is mingling, and although Yamamoto Takeshi is not like those typical herbivores he sees and beats up everyday, he still can’t help but feel uncomfortable.

As if sensing the younger boy’s uneasiness, Yamamoto adds, “We can go upstairs, to where dad usually house the special reservations diner, and eat there? That way, there’ll only be the two of us!”

Hibari is looking into Yamamoto’s eyes, and it shines so much it’s like he’s seeing the sun –he wonders vaguely how brown eyes can still glimmer so vibrantly- and nods, almost reluctantly.

After all, Hibari thinks, Yamamoto isn’t one of those herbivores – and Hibari prides himself in making sound character judgments.

Yamamoto’s smile widens, and they walk forward, now side-by-side.

:+:+:+:+:


It’s not everyday, it’s not even every week, but slowly, steadily, going home with Hibari from time to time and stopping by his father’s restaurant to eat a bit has become somewhat of a routine for the two of them. Yamamoto will always call out Hibari’s name if he happens to see him after baseball practice is done, and if Hibari happens to finish his daily walk around the campus, he might –just a small chance, but still a possibility- walk home with the other boy. They talk about inconsequential stuff, mostly Yamamoto blabbering on endlessly while Hibari would mumble something as an answer every once in awhile. Yamamoto doesn’t mind the lack of response from the Disciplinary Head –he has more than enough things to talk about anyway, and for some reason, he never runs out of stuff to talk about when he is with Hibari- and really, this is definitely better than going home alone after practice. Tsuna and Gokudera never stick around after school, and all his friends live in the opposite direction from his house, so having company to talk with, he’s happy.

Besides, when he does respond, Hibari can actually be interesting in a twisted, Hibari-ish sort of way.

Sometimes Yamamoto wonders why Hibari is willing to do this -walking home with him, eating with him- doesn’t get annoyed at his never-ending chatter, doesn’t shove a tonfa to his head for being “too loud on campus and disrupting Namimori’s peace”, he has seen that happening to some unfortunate beings before.

He doesn’t ask why, either. Yamamoto doesn’t dwell on things like that. He's just happy that it seems like he has made a new friend.

:+:+:+:+:


On the last day of his last year at Namimori Middle, Yamamoto finds himself exhausted for once.

He has been studying frantically all week, trying to get a good score on all of his finals, because he's gotten a sports scholarship to a prestigious high school, thanks to his baseball achievements, and he’s so happy, everyone is so proud of him –his father hosted a party to celebrate, Tsuna got him a new baseball glove, and even Gokudera patted him on the shoulder once and mumbled a “Nice job, baseball nut.”- and he feels like his whole world just looks even brighter.

But the catch is that he has to get a ninety percent on all of his finals to get the scholarship, and while Yamamoto isn’t the least intelligent guy in the school, he’s not exactly like, say, Gokudera-material.

Thus, this whole week, he has been cramming like crazy to get ready for the tests, and when they announced the exam scores right before the graduation ceremony, Yamamoto feels like a big, heavy load has been lifted off his back.

But with relief comes exhaustion. Although his dad came to the event, he went home early to take care of the shop. With relatives still surrounding Tsuna and Gokudera, Yamamoto finds himself wandering quietly around the campus, in search of a quiet place to rest.

As he wanders about the school, he reminisces of all the times spent in those particular places. He smiles along the way as it becomes somewhat of a game to him and makes him temporarily forget about the mild headache he's having.

His smile widens as Yamamoto reaches the roof and finds a lone person lying on the ground, a little fluffy yellow bird on his head. Yamamoto is about to call out Hibari’s name when he realizes that Hibari is sleeping, and makes sure his steps are quieter as to not wake the boy up.

Yamamoto sits down beside the sleeping figure on the ground quietly, looking up at the boy briefly before gazing at the sky above. Yawning with exhaustion, Yamamoto lies down slowly, sleep catching up to him, and closes his eyes.

A breeze gently sweeps by, and Hibird chirps a song that Yamamoto vaguely recognizes as their School Anthem –he chuckles inwardly at the thought- and it becomes somewhat of a lullaby as his consciousness slips away.

When Yamamoto wakes up 2 hours later to a tonfa hanging by his neck, he finds out in horror that somewhere along the way, his hands had reached out to wrap around something close by –Yamamoto was thinking of a pillow, a pillow!- and the thing closest to him happened to be Hibari. As a result, Hibari is now one very irritated boy, having woken up to find he was tangled and unable to break out of the other's firm grip, unless he cut off Yamamoto's arms or woke him.

Yamamoto chuckles nervously as he scratches his head, “Now, now, Hibari, it was an accident! I’m so used to hugging a pillow while I’m asleep that, you know—“

“You have 5 seconds to get out of here before I go after you and bite you to death” Hibari's words is strangely calm as he activates the tonfa's spike function, looking at Yamamoto disinterestedly.

“Ahaha, come on Hibari, you don’t really—“

“Five. Four. Three-“

Yamamoto scrambles to his feet, and runs for his life down the stairs.

Believe it or not, that is how his last day at Namimori Middle School concludes.

:+:+:+:+:


Yamamoto isn't sure when this stopped being a mere game and became something more real, horrendous.

Maybe it was the first time he stabbed a man in the chest–it was instinct, self-defense, the other guy was trying to kill him!- and stared at the bloody body on the ground, some of the blood smeared on his clothes and face.

“Yamamoto Takeshi.” Hibari says, ten hours later, as Yamamoto sits on the side of his bed, head in his hands.

“Hey, Hibari.” He answers, and always –always- when he closes his eyes and darkness envelopes him, he will see that bloody body on the ground, eyes still open wide and staring straight at him –why couldn’t the guy close his eyes before he died, damnit!- and then he will wake up with a start.

That’s why it is currently 3:18 AM in the morning, and Yamamoto’s lights are still on.

“You never did honestly think that this was just all a game, did you?”

Yamamoto lifts his head up and looks at Hibari, still clad in his suit that is smeared with blood and dirt at the cuffs and right shoulder, and wonders absentmindedly if Hibari had just returned from a ‘mission’.

“No, I did not.” Yamamoto answers honestly.

“Then there should be no problem.” Hibari states easily.

Yamamoto winces as he hears the word, knows that they’re true, but it doesn’t matter –doesn’t matter-, because he killed a man and now he’s in shock and he can’t think of anything except the gory body and how the blood that was not his own had felt on his cheek –it was so cold- and he buries his head in his hands again.

“Yamamoto Takeshi, you are being silly.” Before Yamamoto could react, Hibari is grabbing his hair and forcing his head up, and he yells in surprise before shutting his mouth abruptly as he takes a look at Hibari’s expression.

“That herbivore was trying to kill you. If you had not reacted, you would be dead right now.” Yamamoto shudders visibly as he thinks of the scenario that never happened. “It’s either kill or be killed, Yamamoto Takeshi.”

“But, Hibari—“

The grip on his hair only tightens, and Yamamoto cringes at the pain as Hibari continues speaking. “People kill for different reasons. In your case, it is because you need to protect something. It might be your friends or family or whatever, or it might be yourself, you idiot.” Hibari glares as he says that, and Yamamoto can’t help but smile a little because Hibari just called him an ‘idiot’.

“Hibari…”

“Do not interrupt me.” Hibari snaps, and Yamamoto’s smile widens. “Now you, Yamamoto Takeshi, think of what will happen to those around you if you had died today at that herbivore’s hands.”

Yamamoto’s eyes widen at realization as he takes in what Hibari had just said. He shakes his head as he thinks of Tsuna and Gokudera and Ryohei and Lambo and all those other friends that he has managed to make over the years, and he thinks of his dad –waiting for him at home, at that very same restaurant- and oh god no, he cannot allow himself to die, he can’t!

“I—Thank you, Hibari. Ahaha I’m alright now, really.” Yamamoto grins at the other man, who looks at him a bit dubiously, and starts to yawn. “Hahaha now that that’s all over with, I think I’m getting sleepy. I mean, it is almost 3:30 in the morning after all.” He smiles sheepishly.

Hibari just shakes his head, sighing a little at the sheer obliviousness of the other man in the room, and starts to head out.

As Yamamoto watches Hibari leaves and closes the door firmly behind, he wonders if perhaps one of those ‘close ones’ that Hibari was referring to also included himself.

He smiles at the thought.

:+:+:+:+:


Hibari sees red.

Yamamoto immediately grabs Hibari’s hand to stop him from going, calling over and over again, “Hiba-no wait, Hibari! Calm down!!”

Hibari pays no attention and wrangles his hand out of the other’s grip. Yamamoto, straps as for what to do, grabs Hibari’s whole body from behind and now his two hands are locked together securely in front of Hibari’s chest.

“Let go.” Hibari seethes, body still for a moment, probably shocked at the fact that Yamamoto has the gall to do this to him, of all people. Yamamoto knows that this is a very dangerous situation to be in right now, and he’s very likely to die from being bitten to death, or worse, being punctured with spikes, and dying a painful death from Hibari's hedgehog of doom.

But he doesn’t let go.

“H-Hibari,” Yamamoto inhales, trying to calm himself down, and his heart is beating against his chest for reasons he knows isn’t because he is scared shitless right now, “I know that you’re mad –heck, beyond mad- and I’m sure you want to bite those guys all to death for what they did to Namimori, but charging into the Millefore base all by yourself like this is not going to help!!”

Hibari stops stilling – Yamamoto knows it wouldn’t be for long, and he reacts with no surprise as a tonfa is being slammed into the crook of his neck, but he keeps his ground because damnit he has to talk Hibari out of this mess!

“Would you like to volunteer yourself to a taste of my power first-hand?” Hibari hisses, his eyes such a perfect color of black that Yamamoto finds himself mesmerized for a second.

But he quickly snaps out of it. “Okay, look, Hibari, how about this,” Yamamoto tries, wincing as he speaks, because boy did the slam to his neck hurts his jaw right now, and he’s pretty sure he can taste the faint linger of metallic inside his mouth. “Let’s go back to Tsuna’s headquarters and find out more about this. We can go find out to know who, specifically, were the ones that did this - down to their names and whatnot, and then you can go and bite them to death, one by one.”

Hibari’s eyes are still blazing with anger, but his entire body is unmoving as he seems to be taking in what the other had just said. He still doesn’t seem very convinced.

“Hibari, think about this: we’re still watching and spying on the Millefore’s every moves –heck, weren’t you the one Reborn charged with the task of uncovering their secrets? If you suddenly rush in there right now, all that hard work you’ve been doing will be going to waste!” And because if you go in there right now, strongest guardian or not, you simply will die, Yamamoto thinks, several thousand people against one person –No, I don’t care how good a fighter you are, Hibari, it doesn’t matter!- and I do not, DO NOT, want to see you die, not like this, but he doesn’t voice those thoughts out.

Hibari lowers his tonfa a little, and Yamamoto takes that as a good sign – bringing Reborn in is always a good thing to do when you want to convince Hibari to do something, because the man has this complex of not wanting to fail Reborn, for failing equals to weak, and Hibari wants to appear to be anything but weak to the little Arcobaleno.

“I promise you, whoever did this will pay –I will make sure to see through to that- but not now, okay? Not you rushing into their base and killing everyone you meet on sight.” Hesitantly, Yamamoto lifts his right hand up and gently grasp Hibari’s wrist –the one that’s holding a tonfa to his neck- and lowers their hands slowly, carefully.

Hibari lets him.

After boring into Yamamoto’s eyes for a few seconds, Hibari turns around –Yamamoto breathes a sign of relief- and murmurs, “If you fail to do this, I shall bite everyone to death, with you on top of the list.”

Hibari then walks away, leaving Yamamoto to stare at his back.

:+:+:+:+:


It’s been two week since that “incident” has happened. They did find out the names of the people who dared to destroy the Vongola Cloud Guardian’s precious territory –the sixty-seven of them- and Hibari did bite them to death. At least, Yamamoto thinks so, since after finding out all those names and handing the list to Hibari, Yamamoto had stayed out of the other’s way, knowing fully well that he prefers to bite them to death alone.

Coincidentally, Hibari also had Namimori rebuilt and added some snazzy functions to it underground, making it officially Hibari’s headquarters completed with the proper technology and machines. Now he doesn’t go to Tsuna’s control center anymore, preferring to work in his own place.

Everyone simply thinks, Finally.

Yamamoto must say, though, reflecting back, that Hibari really values Namimori. Didn’t this happen before, a few years ago? Ah, yes, that’s right, it was during all that Ring Battle commotion – after Gokudera’s match, if he remembers correctly.

Yamamoto didn’t think much of it back then, for he always knew the (former) Disciplinary Head had always been fond of their school. Besides, he didn’t really know Hibari well enough back then to wonder about his reactions. But now that he thinks about it, Hibari always –always- devotes himself to Namimori. So much. Too much.

As Yamamoto ponders about this, eyes narrowing more and more, he hears a voice calling him out, and blinks his eyes as he realizes that Tsuna is talking to him. He offers his friend a sheepish smile. “Ahaha sorry, Tsuna.”

“Ah, no, it’s alright. The information wasn’t anything important, anyway – it’s all stuff we already found out and knew.” Tsuna smiles sheepishly back, scratching his head. Yamamoto grimaces inwardly at how he’d drifted off in the middle of their conversation. And it was about—

“Tsuna, have you seen Hibari anywhere?”

Yamamoto almost jumps at the mention of that particular name, only to realize that the voice came from Reborn, who had just came in.

“Hmn? No, I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen him at all today.” Tsuna answers.

“Hmn.” The Arcobaleno hums silently for a second. “Go find him, Tsuna.”

“EHHH? But Reborn, I still have all these paperwork to fill out! I’ve just finished going over the details with Yamamoto, I don’t have time to—“

“Loser Tsuna, if you cannot even keep track of where your subordinates are, how will you be able to become the greatest Mafia boss in history?” Reborn asks, hands already reaching to the side to touch his gun.

Yamamoto can’t help but laugh. Even after all these years -and Tsuna has undergone a pretty huge transformation from the boy was in middle school- he and Reborn still acts the same way towards each other. He’s glad to see that Tsuna, no matter how powerful he is now, is still the Tsuna he and Gokudera know so well from long ago.

“Hey Reborn,” Yamamoto offers, “I’ll go find Hibari instead. Just let Tsuna do his own work, yeah? I’m pretty sure he has a lot of stuff piling up right now.”

Reborn seems to consider this for a moment, then replies, “Okay. When you find him, tell him that he needs to send me the updated report of the Millefore’s latest actions to my computer before tomorrow.” He pauses briefly before adding, “No-good Tsuna, you’re still no good.” Tsuna groans at his desk.

“Alright, will do!” Flashing a smile, Yamamoto gets up and walks out, leaving a squabbling teacher-student pair behind.

:+:+:+:+:


Yamamoto finds Hibari on the roof of Namimori high half an hour later, after checking to see that he isn’t in his room and nobody has seen him anywhere. He smiles when he sees the Cloud Guardian lying on his back, facing the wide sky above. He knows the man always had a fondness for high places.

As he approaches, he realizes that Hibari is asleep right now, clad in his kimono, and Yamamoto sits down on the ground beside him quietly, not wanting to wake him up.

He looks at Hibari’s face, so tranquil –innocent- that if he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought that Hibari is just any normal adult out there, enjoying a day off in the sun.

Yamamoto knows better, of course, and as the wind gently sweeps by, his mouth moves suddenly –unconsciously- and he blurts out, “Hibari, I love you.”

Silence.

The Rain Guardian just laughs quietly, almost painfully, because of course Hibari can’t hear him –he’s asleep- and if he isn’t, then there’s no way Yamamoto would be saying these things now.

But Hibari’s eyes are still closed, chest rising up and down in rhythm, soft breathing accompanying the wind, and Yamamoto feels relaxed, like nothing can stop him -nothing matters now- with just him and a sleeping Hibari all alone in this place, and he continues.

“The truth is, I don’t know when this all happens.” He whispers, more to himself than anything, “But one day I look back, and always I notice that my eyes are constantly searching for you –where are you right now? Are you okay? You didn’t get hurt, did you?- and all those repetitive questions. It’s silly, really, especially since I know you’re more than strong enough –smart enough- to take care of yourself.”

Yamamoto breathes in slowly, taking in the scent of flowers blooming below them, and smiles. “I guess, if I have to name a specific time, that would be two weeks ago – yes, that’s right, at that time haha. I guess it hit me hard that night when I realized how close I came to losing you. If-If I just didn’t happen to be with you at the time when we returned to Namimori –god, I don’t know what would have happened. I don’t want to think about it.” He chuckles wryly. “I guess that’s when I realized how important you’ve became to me – that you are the most important person, Hibari.”

This is where his breathe hitches, “But I know,” and he bites his lips, face contorted, “I know that you can never love me in return – and not because you loved someone else already, or that you don’t want to.” He clenches his fist, scraping the skin on the coarse cement. “It’s because you can’t.”

Yamamoto looks at Hibari again, still sleeping –so peaceful- and smiles forlornly. “You’re like a bird, Hibari. Haha I mean, I guess that’s why your name means skylark, right? Just like a bird, you want to soar free high in the sky, unbounded by anything. Namimori is your only safe home to return to after being exhausted from the day’s journey.” He then faces the sky, looking up at the fluffy clouds above –so pretty- and his fist unclenches, slowly.

“I know, come tomorrow, you will be flying out again, exploring the world out there –there’s so many things you want to experience, so many unknown challenges that you want to face- you can’t be chained down from anything, Hibari.” He stifles a sniff –he is not crying, not crying- for what happens if Hibari was to wake up right now and sees his face distorted with tears?

“That’s why.” Yamamoto reaches over and slowly, so meticulously as to not wake Hibari up, brushes the other’s cheek ever so lightly. He smiles, and the hand is quickly snapped from there as if it has never been there in the first place. “That’s why, Hibari, I can never tell you my feelings. I want you to be free, to spread your wings and fly to whatever destination you like, unbound by any shackles.”

Yamamoto takes in a deep breathe, calming down his heartbeat, and blinks his eyes several times before a smile appears in his face, and he says gently, but loudly, “Hey Hibari.”

An eyebrow twitched at the loud noise, and Hibari opens his eyes hazily to see the source that interrupted his nap. “Yamamoto Takeshi.”

“Ahaha good afternoon, Hibari.” Yamamoto laughs cheerfully. “Now, now, before you get out your tonfa and proceeds to bite me to death for waking you up,” he holds out his hands in front of himself, instinctively defending his body, “let me just relay the message from Reborn that he wants you to send him the updated report of the Millefore’s current activity to his computer before tomorrow, alright?” He laughs nervously again as Hibari’s eyes narrows, like he is about to tonfa’d someone to death.

“…And that’s why you woke me up?”

“Ahaha uh, yes?” Yamamoto answers uncertainly, “Also to tell you that you shouldn’t be sleeping on the rooftop where the wind is blowing more severely than any other places dressed only in your kimono.” He doesn’t add in the fact that Hibari might catch a cold this way because he knows that Hibari absolutely detest the idea of him possibly catching a cold. ‘Being sick is for herbivores.’ the Cloud Guardian had said.

A few more minutes pass in absolute silence as two figures on a rooftop does not seem to move an inch while looking at each other. At last, Hibari gets up and begins to walk away.

“Hibari?”

He pauses slightly, back still to Yamamoto, as he says, “I’m going to send the report to the baby.” As Hibari reaches the door to the stairs, he looks back and holds out a tonfa aimed directly right where Yamamoto’s neck should be, ten meters away. “If you ever dare to do that again, I will bite you to death, Yamamoto Takeshi.”

The Rain Guardian only smiles as a door shuts in his face.

:+:+:+:+:


They’re sitting inside Hibari’s house, Yamamoto absently looking at all the calligraphy scrolls hung on the wall, while Hibari is looking outside to his garden, seeping his tea quietly. If Yamamoto really listens he can hear the incessant sounds of water dripping from the well outside, tick tick tick tick, and the atmosphere is so calming, so quiet that it becomes agonizing.

He looks to where Hibari is –only his back is visible- and beyond where he vaguely notices that dusk is approaching –another day is about to end again- and his lips make a thin line. “Hey Hibari.”

There’s no answer from the other man –Yamamoto wasn’t expecting one- and that tick tick tick tick in his ears are starting to get progressively louder.

His mouth moves without accord. “Hibari, you—“ and the words die in his mouth even though they’re ringing so loud -so loud- inside his ears, you’re never going to leave here, are you? You can never be captured; can never be tied down by someone, right? Cannot ever love a human being –no, no, you can’t- can you?

You can never love me, right?

Instead, Yamamoto says, “You really love Namimori, don’t you?”

Hibari finally looks at him, head turned to the right slightly, and stares straight into his eyes –they’re so dark, dark, like the depths of the ocean- and answers, “The answer should be obvious.”

And Yamamoto laughs, he laughs because -what else was he expecting?- and the noise temporarily suppresses the ticking sounds in his ears and it seems as though the water has stopped dripping. Hibari narrows his eyes for a second out of confusion, deciding to discard the whole conversation from his mind, and about to turn his head back to enjoy the peace like before, only…

“I love Namimori, too.”

And Hibari’s eyes widen in surprise – almost. Looking back at the figure who said the words, he can see the other has that bright grin on like he always does, except that is the only thing he can see right now – the sunlight reflected through the sliding doors sheds a shadow over half of Yamamoto’s face and Hibari can’t make out his expression, can’t see his eyes, and…

“What?” Hibari asks.

“I said, I love Namimori, too.” Yamamoto repeats -Because it’s the thing that’s most precious to you- and begins to laugh.

In an instant, Yamamoto can feel a weight pushing down on him, looks up to see Hibari hovering over him –he’s so light, so light, where on Earth does he get all that strength from?- and feels a hand lifting his chin up firmly but not quite forcefully. Hibari’s eyes are staring right into Yamamoto’s eyes, scrutinizing him carefully, and Yamamoto doesn’t like this because it feels like the other man can see right through his eyes, his thoughts, his feelings, and he resists the urge to just avert his eyes to someplace –anyplace- else because he knows that Hibari will only get more suspicious given that action.

“Yamamoto Takeshi.” Hibari says, evenly, though it isn’t louder than a whisper and Yamamoto’s afraid he won’t catch whatever it is that Hibari’s saying because that ticking noise is back again, and his heart is thumping against his chest, and he forces himself to calm down –calm down, Yamamoto Takeshi!- and smiles at the man a mere few inches away from him.

“Really, I love Namimori, Hibari.” And it isn’t a lie because it’s the most important thing to the person he loves, and Yamamoto thanks the God up there silently for creating Namimori, for creating something that brings Hibari happiness.

Yamamoto can tell that Hibari believes him, can see the sincerity in his eyes, because he finally releases the hold on Yamamoto’s chin, and for a long time they just sit there in that slightly dubious position, the water dripping one two one two, as they stare up at one another’s eyes, and then a miracle happens.

Hibari’s lips ever so slowly and discreetly tilt up, and if you don’t look carefully, you would think that he’s smirking, except Yamamoto can see that both the corners of his lips are lifted evenly, that Hibari’s smiling –he’s smiling- and in a flash Yamamoto can see that Hibari is back to his former position, a teacup in his hand, eyes gazing out to the sky above.

As Yamamoto sits there staring at the beauty that transpired in front of him – the sun is setting down, giving off a kind of warm, fuzzy orange that glimmers against Hibari’s profile, blending in with his brownish black kimono – he thinks, This is for the best.

:+:+:+:+:


They’re back to back -only not really, since this is Hibari after all- weapons in hand as a hundred or so men surrounded them, guns pointing out, and it looks like a circle with a little dot in the center if someone up above was to look down and see, and they can see the men are at guard, one move from either of them and probably their brains would be blown out – if those guys’ aims are good enough, that is – and Yamamoto laughs again, always.

“Hey Hibari.” He says, many times now.

Except this time, Hibari grunts softly in return, and Yamamoto’s eyes glint briefly, but too bright, before he continues, “After this, want to go back to my dad’s restaurant and eat some sushi? He just tried this new recipe out – I guarantee you you’ll like it!”

Silence passes between them as sweat trickle down their enemies’ temples. Yamamoto is still smiling, glancing at the man behind him briefly with something akin to hope. Finally, finally, Hibari raises his hands up, tonfas in place, ready to strike out, and says, “Alright.”

Lifting his sword up, Yamamoto breaks out a big grin as he charges out, and thinks, This is okay. The person most important to me is right beside me - I’m content with just that.

This is more than enough for me.


“Let’s go, Hibari.”
 
 
mood: rejuvenatedrejuvenated
music: AAA - Deai no Chikara
 
 
 
Atan: 8018 lovepicarcia on January 18th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
Aww... this fic is not fail at all <3

the most canon-ish pairing in khr is 5927 isn't it? 8059 is just more popular

The part when Yamamoto slept with Hibari at Namimori rooftop is just too cute X3
And I love your telling of Yamamoto's view of Hibari.
I enjoy your fic so much =D
where we ends: 8018decolorize on January 19th, 2009 02:10 am (UTC)
YOU ARE TOO KIND, ATAN. <3

Ah, yeah, that's what I meant. I meant, out of all the "mainstream" (1827, D18, 8059) pairings in KHR, 8059 is the most canon.

Lol tbh, I was kind of forcing that part & the 1st half out, since my main focus was that "Hibari is like a bird" thing, which is only being mentioned in the 2nd half. So I kinda had to make up what their regular interactions would be, before they were close & stuff.

Sankyuu~ I think that's somewhat how I view Hibari to be like, and translate that onto Yamamoto's POV.

Glad to provide~ We need more 8018 fics. ♥
라비미로labymiro: KHR1880TYLleanlabymiro on January 18th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
i'm now gonna go and cry. somehow, The person most important to me is right beside me - I’m content with just that. << this was so sad u.u after all that. I mean, I like it, especially 'cuz it's not outright 8018... well, it is, but not in reciprocal way, if you know what i mean. i love both of them here and i can so imagine 8018 happening if it's this kinda way. but i'm still gonna go to my dark corner and sniffle.

and profile pic is lovely but you know that hibari prolly bit yamamoto to death after that rite? lol

Edited at 2009-01-18 10:02 pm (UTC)
where we ends: 8018decolorize on January 19th, 2009 02:16 am (UTC)
Whaaaa I'm-I'm sorry! >>;; I just have this very melancholic style of writing, and most of my fics have that depressing feel to them.

Umn... to make you feel a bit better, think about this. What if this story was told from Hibari's point of view, instead? Since this was taken from Yamamoto's POV, HE's the one who thinks that Hibari can't love anyone, right? But if Hibari doesn't care about him in the least bit, he wouldn't comfort Yamamoto after he killed someone for the first time (in his own kinda rough way). Heck, he LETS Yamamoto be beside him. That's gotta speak for something, right? ;D

...Idk, I hope I left it vague enough for you to interpret their future. I didn't want to write an outright romatic relationship, because I know that's not how 8018 canonly would work.

Lol yup. ♥ 2 seconds later & Yamamoto would make a face & yelp in pain since Hibari totally bit him in the neck given their positions. XD
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Michelle Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ: reborn - er...what?bloodyapplepi on January 18th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC)
:3 That was lovely darlin' ♥
where we ends: Hibari-Hibird OTP~ <33decolorize on January 19th, 2009 02:17 am (UTC)
Thank you~ ♥

I did not know you were in the KHR fandom. :O Must've been when I was still in hiatus, BUT I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE NOW!!

Hilarious icon, btw. XD
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aquarian_days: bat girlaquarian_days on January 19th, 2009 12:23 am (UTC)
Aw, I really liked this! It's sort of hopeless and hopeful at the same time, if that makes sense. It's like, Yamamoto is convinced that the best he can do is to stand by Hibari's side, which seems awfully empty and unfulfilling, but at the same time, the fact that Hibari allows it, in his own Hibari-ish way, that's sorta like returning Yamamoto's feelings. (Which unfortunately, I don't think Yamamoto has quite understood yet.)

It was nice how the story came off as a snapshot of their relationship at a particular time. I felt like the ending left just enough of a question mark that you could see their relationship continuing to change--there's still plenty of things Yamamoto doesn't know about Hibari (like why he love Namimori so much, or even what Hibari actually likes about him), that yeah, their relationship still seems like a work in progress to me, much more than Yamamoto realizes. There was enough change and development in their relationship throughout the story that I don't things will stagnate here and I can see them continuing to grow as friends. And, I dunno, maybe as something more?

There were points where I almost felt like if Yamamoto had maybe pushed a little more, been a little less cautious, perhaps Hibari might actually have responded. Like when Yamamoto indirectly told Hibari that he loved him by confessing to loving Namimori, you could say Hibari's reaction was like an acceptance of those feelings. But, if Yamamoto doesn't decide that he wants more than the status quo, then he might not get it. (It's like Yamamoto is just as much of a roadblock to any romantic development as is Hibari's Spartan personality.) So, lots of different possibilities for these two after the end of this fic, which I really liked about it. Great job. ^_^
where we ends: 8018decolorize on January 19th, 2009 04:01 am (UTC)
You-You... I think I love you. ♥ Everything that I was trying to incorporate into this fic and its theme, you managed to catch them all. *offers you virtual cookie*

Anyway, to be a little more coherent COUGHCOUGH, I think, the problem with this thing, their relationship as a whole, is that this is told from Yamamoto's POV. As I was writing this, I discreetly put up Hibari's reaction everywhere, but readers don't often notice, because this is written from Yamamoto's POV, therefore, we interpret that maybe Hibari really doesn't love Yamamoto, as HE had thought.

While I can't say that Hibari might romantically love him (I can't say that he doesn't, either), one can tell that obviously Hibari cares for him to a certain degree to comfort him (in his own rough sort of way) after Yamamoto's inital shock from his first kill, or the fact that he even lets Yamamoto hangs around him at all. And you're perfectly right, maybe, just MAYBE, if he had pushed a bit more, their relationship might be closer than friendship, but alas, Yamamoto is that kind of a person, the kind who loves those he loves, without needing anything in return, and that's why this fic fits 8018 more than, say, D18 or other Hibari pairings, because Yamamoto is Yamamoto.

The main theme of this story is how Hibari is like a bird, and he can't be chained down by anything, thus, the story ends on this note, but I'm glad you realize that the ending IS quite vague, and maybe sometimes in the future it might develope into something more. The point of this fic isn't to write a romantic, sappy love story anyway. (In fact, I don't think there was anything vaguely resembling romance at all... =___=;;)

Lol the point is that Yamamoto needs to stop being so selfless all the time, but then again, that's what we all love about him, right? :)

And I'm sorry for the incredibly long comment. Thank you for reading~
hanbomi on January 19th, 2009 12:38 am (UTC)
HI I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU THIS IS SO GOOD YOOOU :<
ngggg you wrote yama so well ♥
which is surprisingly rare ;____; but ahhh thankyou for this. please write more~~
where we ends: Yamamotodecolorize on January 19th, 2009 04:04 am (UTC)
OMG SANKYUU SO MUCH. I-I'm not deserving of your praise, I'm sure there's a thousand other writers who write a WAAAAAAY better Yamamoto than I do.

But-But, thank you for the compliment. I'm sorry it's such a depressing fic. I-I hope I can write more "happy" fics in the future, yes, especially since it seems that my obsession with Yamamoto isn't going anywhere anytime soon. ♥
lifetocome: Reborn: Ryohei/Hibarilifetocome on January 19th, 2009 01:01 am (UTC)
♥ ♥ ♥

T^T Aww this is so sad but so good at the same time! Hibari is really Hibari... he's never gonna change, is he? Poor Yamamoto~ so devoted yet getting so little back and YET still saying that is more than enough. I love your descriptions, they're really vivid! Great fic!
where we ends: Yamamotodecolorize on January 19th, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
Thank you so much~ I'm glad to know they weren't OOC, since I tried so hard to make them IC considering this is my 1st time writing 8018. I'm so glad it wasn't (total) fail.

And *sigh* Yamamoto is Yamamoto & that's why this fic fits because he's JUST exactly the type to do such a selfless thing. But that's why we love him anyway, right? ;D
shiyaki_chan: hitmanshiyaki_chan on January 19th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC)
Aw, one of the best 8018 I've read so far. Very in-character and I just love it, when Yama's not SUCH a dumb, herbivore-ish character, like some portray him. It was just the right mix <3 And it's so cute, even though I feel a bit sorry for Yama, but I understand his motive for not saying anything about his feelings to Hibari.

Hope you'll write another 8018 <3
where we ends: 8018decolorize on January 19th, 2009 04:19 am (UTC)
O-One of the best? :O Thank you so much! That's a BIG compliment for a first-timer writer in 8018 like me. And I'm so glad the characters didn't seem to be OOC. Personally, I believe that Yamamoto isn't as dumb as he outwardly look - in fact, he might be smarter than he lets on, & I wanted to make sure I portrayed that in the story.

I-I hope that I'll get inspiration to write more 8018, too. Especially one that isn't as depressing as this one orz.
tyreling: cyute Yamamoto 80tyreling on January 19th, 2009 03:08 am (UTC)
This is really lovely written. Yamamoto is LOVE! <33 It's really so sad to see him like this, but you're right. In canon, this is 8018 as close as they can get. Even if we want them to get closer, it just... won't go well with Hibari's nature. Nice job! I love the sleeping-on-the-roof scene after the graduation.

I do admit I've gone through the same phase you did. 8059 and 8018. It's really sad that 8018 doesn't get enough long-fic.XDD
where we ends: Yamamotodecolorize on January 19th, 2009 04:25 am (UTC)
Thank you~ That's precisely why this is 8018, and not D18 or any other Hibari pairings, because I think only really Yamamoto is selfless enough to do this. The main theme of this fic is how Hibari is like a bird and he can't be chained down to anything, and Yamamoto just REALLY fits, though sad as it is. And lol I'm glad you like that scene. Tbh, it was the LAST section I wrote for this story. XD;;

Ah, yes. There's not a lot of 8018 fics in the 1st place, let alone REALLY long & good fics. I hope it'll be more popular as time goes on. (Amano-sensei, give us more hints, damnit! XD)
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proboscus on January 19th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. I put studying for midterms on hold for for this, and it was worth every second. Spot-on, beautiful narrative, heart-wrenching and full of emotion, and just guh. Perfect. Thank you for sharing.
where we ends: Yamamotodecolorize on January 19th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
Oh god, I-I hope you had enough time to study after reading this? :O I'm sorry it's so depressing. I hope that the next time I write 8018, it'll be, you know, lighter. XD

Thanks for the comment~ I'm glad I didn't fail on my first try at writing 8018 orz.
+HiRO+: 落ち込んでるhiroya_chan on January 20th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
ARGHHHH your lousy grammar-checker is late in commenting. D:

But hahahahh, I really liked this fanfic, I'll have you know, and NOT FAIL. Not fail, ohkaye. :| And good thing you forced yourself to cough out the first half! 8D Makes for great development. <333

WRITE MORE, OHKAYE? Ohkaye, yay. ( *W*)
where we ends: 8018decolorize on January 21st, 2009 02:13 am (UTC)
IT DOES NOT MATTTTTTTTTTER. Without you this fic would've been total fail anyway. ♥

T-Thanks. It's no where near as great as yours, but-but I hope this will inspired you somewhat to write moar 8018? XD *nudge nudge*

Lol you're so funny, Hiro. <333 And-and I uh, DID write more. But it's not exactly 8018 nor is it as deep as this. In fact, it's a crack fic & it fails & it has no plot. DX
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Janice: Fo shizzlemilodrums on January 22nd, 2009 05:12 am (UTC)
AHHHHHHH <3 I'm sorry, I'm in love with Yama too. ... I wonder why OTL

This fic isn't fail and I do enjoy 8018 fics w/o all the smex and stuff. XDD FLUFF <3

where we ends: 8018decolorize on January 22nd, 2009 07:30 am (UTC)
Yamamoto is such a dork that I love him. ♥ Glad to see another Yama fan. :D

Sankyuu~ Lol I don't really write smex in the 1st place, & I'm glad you didn't see it neccessary to have a NC-17 rating to read this fic. :D

B-By the way, does this fic really seems "fluffy" to you? 0.o You're the 1st one to call it fluff lol. XD Everyone else say this fic is depressin' & angsty & all that.
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白 と 黒: hibari_hairstylehvid_noire on March 14th, 2009 08:00 am (UTC)
hello there! saw this fic in comm.

yay! a yamahiba! im longing to read a new fic of them! and it's a long one! sugee!

haven't read it yet but will do after posting this! nyahahaha
白 と 黒: hibari_hairstylehvid_noire on March 14th, 2009 08:35 am (UTC)
not yet through reading. sushi is a good bait for hibari?! 0_0 woah!

before i forgot this. ahm... Hibari's oldest among the guardians. even with sasagawa ryohei!
where we ends: 8018decolorize on March 14th, 2009 07:44 pm (UTC)
Ahaha well, it IS a canon fact that Hibari loves Japanese food (& hamburgers) & since sushi is a Jap. food, ya know~ XD

I hope you're not disappointed with the ending? >>;; Thanks for reading~
fantasygirl49fantasygirl49 on June 27th, 2009 10:14 am (UTC)
thanks for writing this 8018 fic, your yamamoto is so lovable, and selfless love is the best ^^
where we ends: Hibari-Hibird OTP~ <33decolorize on July 13th, 2009 03:29 am (UTC)
This is one of the reason why I love Yamamoto sooooooo much~

Thanks for reading! :D
Miyuki-tan: Flower Petals on Music Notesmiyuki_tan on July 13th, 2009 01:28 am (UTC)
I found this in a community. :3

This is awesome! :D I honestly must say that, out of all of the KHR fan fiction I've read, this one is the best. Because it's written so very well!

I was almost crying when Yamamoto was talking to Hibari about his feelings when Hibari was asleep so he couldn't hear. And I really like the way Yamamoto described his feelings for Hibari. I found it very cute~!! I was half-hoping he was faking sleep so he could hear and their relationship can grow~. But I was also half-hoping that he was actually asleep because if he did hear, it would possibly ruin their relationship, because it can go both ways, but I was also wishing that their relationship would grow anyways! :D

But then it ended... But I'm not disappointed! Not at all! Because it was still great, and even though I wished for a sequel, It's perfectly fine as it is! I really love it~. ^^

Oh, and, while I was sitting on my bed after eating dinner which was after I read this, [because when I sit on my bed, it means I'm thinking of fan fiction idea's], I got inspired by this fan fiction to write one of my own. ^^ that always seems to happen... like, when I read an amazing Manga, I'll be inspired to write an original story of my own, and when I read an amazing fan fiction, I'll get inspired to write one myself. But of course the story that I write has a twist. Ah! I'm rambling... Sorry. ^^;

So, now I'm going to go write down my idea's for my next fan fiction which is inspired by this one, and I'll definitely put credit! <3
where we ends: Hibari-Hibird OTP~ <33decolorize on July 13th, 2009 03:49 am (UTC)
skfkjd Thanks so much for the compliment! That means a lot to me. :)))

And actually, I was debating on whether or not Hibari should really be sleeping while Yama confesses, too. But actually, since it's not from Hibari's POV, you don't really know if Hibari has heard it and chose to not make it known to Yama or not lolz /fails

Sequel, huh. I've never thought of it! I like writing vague endings lol. |D But I'm glad you like it just the way it is. :D

And hmn, once you finish it, feel free to link it to me so I can read it! *o* 8018 is SO OBSCURE it makes me cry. ;___; Let me read it, k? :D
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where we ends: Hibari-Hibird OTP~ <33decolorize on August 5th, 2009 05:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you~ :D I adore Yamamoto in general, so I'm glad you liked the way I wrote him. <33 Although I've been distracted by JE lately to pay attention to anime orz

Oh wow, an anime fan that also knows JE! *o* Kame is my current obsession right now lol. ♥
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pamellkapamellka on June 27th, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)
loove this <3
Oh deary me! I loved this! Poor Yamamoto with his unrequited love...

I loved the end especially it was just so...beautiful? Iunno...I'm a person of few words, all I can say really is that this is wonderful and I ask of you to make more stories like this :)